| |
| |
|
Marriage & Wedding Information brough toy ou by christian dating sites |
|
|
|
How A Marriage Counseling Secret Can Save Your Marriage
How do you react if your spouse announces "I want a divorce" or something similar? With shock? Surprise? Outrage? If these are your reactions, you've got plenty of company. Thousands of spouses each year have this same experience. Many surprised partners in this situation begin to grill their unhappy mate with questions like "What in the #%& do you mean you want a divorce? After all I've done for you!" Unfortunately, this approach doesn't make the dissatisfied spouse change her (or his) mind. If anything, it makes them dig in their heels. The key to keeping your marriage begins with a simple but misunderstood word: Acceptance. What is acceptance? It means respecting and accepting your spouse's point of view, even when you don't fully understand it. To help you understand how acceptance is important in stopping your divorce, let me share a story with you. There was a tennis player on a college team whose coach had told her that her serve needed practice. But she refused to accept and act on the coach's feedback. Again, her coach implored her to work on her technique after she spiraled into a losing streak. Clearly, her career on the court would be short-lived unless she took her coach's advice to heart. Finally after losing another match to an archrival in a tournament, the coach issued an ultimatum. The player would either have to do what it took to improve or leave the team. This athlete finally came to accept what her problem was - poor technique on her serves. Before that, she'd been unwilling to do the necessary work to enhance her performance. But once she had accepted the situation as it was, she was able to move forward and improve her game. A marriage is much the same way. Sometimes one partner may ignore or minimize the feedback from the other for a time. This time may often stretch into years. And the frustration builds like pressure in a pressure cooker. Until finally a limit is passed and an ultimatum is issued. The offending spouse must change behavior or else the frustrated partner will leave the marriage. At this point, a history of dissatisfaction has built up on the side of the spouse threatening to leave. Whether the surprised partner considers the reasons given to be valid or not doesn't alter the fact that the unhappiness exists. The first thing you must do is accept the situation as a given. Acknowledge your spouse's unhappiness. This doesn't mean you have to agree with your mate's reasons. Nor does it necessarily mean accepting your partner at her word if she says that she's leaving. It does mean that you need to accept the fact that your spouse is unhappy and has been unhappy for some time. If you can buy this description as fitting your situation, you've just made a positive step forward. Because you have to understand the dynamics of your present relationship before you can improve it. It means that emotional communication between you and your spouse has been faulty and she (or he) believes that you haven't been meeting some of her basic needs. It means you need to accept your spouse's discontent if you want to positively influence the disastrous turn your marriage is taking. Don't worry if you disagree with the reasons she gives you for being unhappy. Whatever you do, don't fall into the trap of arguing or telling her she's wrong. Why? Because her perception is her reality and is the basis for her feelings and the decisions she makes. So your first job is to understand and accept your spouse's perception of your relationship. Only then can you do something constructive to save your marriage. Lee Hefner is the co-author of Keep Your Marriage: What to Do When Your Spouse Says "I don't love you anymore!" This e-book is available at http://www.KeepYourMarriage.com. You can also sign up for the free Keep Your Marriage Internet Magazine to get weekly ideas and support to help you save your marriage.
MORE RESOURCES:
Marriage-Wedding - Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Wedding Colors Is it to be a summer wedding or winter wedding? Do you have a particular favourite color? Does the bridegroom have a pathalogical dislike for a certain color?These are all important questions when deciding your wedding color scheme. The color you decide on will influence your dress color, the grooms outfit, the decoration at the reception, your flowers, the bridesmaid dresses. Mens Moissanite Wedding Rings, or Is Moissanite a Mans Best Friend? As mens wedding rings become more and more popular mens moissanite wedding rings become popular at an even faster rate. Wedding rings for men are here to stay and so are mens moissanite wedding rings. Bridal Jewelry: Fulfilling a Wedding Tradition 'Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue.' This is a saying that many brides take to heart when considering their wedding trousseau. The Enigma of Daytime Bachelor Party Activities As most of you know the evening festivities for a bachelor party are already pre-determined. They usually involve some combination of limos, nightclubs, and gentlemen's clubs. Your Disc Jockey Acts As A Wedding Event Planner Give disc jockey's credit. Many of them have endured so much criticism. Marriage Dreams When Fails! Marriage and Attraction: Relation is successful as long as there is attraction between the partners. Attraction of actions, attentiveness, beauty, behaviour, caring nature, sexual satisfaction and etc, contribute to prolong relation. Marriage Counseling: What Do Wives Really Want in a Husband? Part One Numerous men have pondered the questions, "Why does my wife say she's unhappy? What does she want that I'm not doing?" Many of the men raising these questions have been blindsided by a wife's confession that she's not happy in the marriage and wants a separation or divorce. I've seen many examples of this dynamic in marriage counseling sessions that I've conducted. What You Should Know About Buying Engagement Rings Online Buying engagement rings online doesn't have to be confusing or intimidating. In fact, the nice thing about shopping online is that you can browse several online stores without the hassle of traveling from store to store listening to endless sales pitches. Top 10 Wedding Decoration Budget Tips When it comes to choosing your wedding decorations, you must decide on your theme. Once you have done this, you can then make your decisions about the budget that you will have. Create A Beautifull Wedding Album With A Simple And Fun Way Hi If you are getting married or have a Bar Bat Mitzvah or special event then you should read this article. Many times people who have an important event hire a photographer, videographer wedding consultants, and or coordinators, florists, lino service, ect. Marriage Counseling: How to Keep Jealousy From Destroying Your Marriage Jealousy has often been called the "green-eyed monster," and with good reason. The "monster" is fueled by envy and can over time devour the trust and harmony in a relationship. Wedding Flower Ideas Your wedding flowers cover all button holes, all the bouquets, the decoration in the church, reception venue, and top table centerpiece if appropriate. So you can see it covers quite a large part of the decoration of the day. Be Thankful for a Faithful Husband If your husband is faithful, you have much to be thankful for. Faithful husbands are in short supply. What Can We Learn From the "Runaway Bride" Story? Have you heard enough about the "Runaway Bride" yet? Well, stay tuned. This story is not going to wind down for a while. Getting Married? What You Should Do With Your Checking Accounts and Credit Cards Marriage is a wonderful thing, but planning the wedding is a difficult task. The coming together leaves many things as an afterthought to the wedding. How to Have a Sizzler of a Honeymoon! Article No. 4 When Maria Callas first appeared on the international scene, she sang like a bird, looked like a small whale, and the only people who truly knew and loved her were the perennial ticket-holding opera lovers.Few years later, looking like Audrey Hepburn, photographers couldn't get enough of her face and body, socialites overwhelmed her with invitations to their yachts and private planes, and rich men kept their beds warm ever hopeful that she might, one day, consent to join them there. Planning Your Outdoor Wedding Reception An outdoor wedding reception can be host to an almost unlimited number of guests and has the aura of nature that can never be duplicated in an indoor ballroom. Some of the following outdoor wedding reception ideas should help to get you started with planning this special day, including avoiding some of the dangers involved with an outdoor setting. When To Order and Send Your Wedding Invitations Wedding Invitations should be ordered when you have all the details of your wedding set? place, time of ceremony and reception as well as your guest list. Plan to place your invitation order at least 3-4 months in advance, some companies may require 4-6 months. Las Vegas Wedding Receptions Las Vegas wedding receptions are where people tend to go absolutely wild. For most people, the ceremony is not where the real action is. Ten Tips for Writing Your Perfect Wedding Vows 1. Start with a nice clean piece of paper (lavender is good, but any kind will work).
|
| home | site map |
| © 2006 |
